Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
Someone once told me that the power in all relationships lies with whoever cares less, and he was right. But power isn’t happiness, and I think that maybe happiness comes from caring more about people rather than less…
Love is magic comfort food for the weak and uneducated!
Custom Agent: Occupation?
Steve Addington: Surfer.
Custom Agent: Is that a job, surfer?
Steve Addington: Not really.
Whats so special about the wind? Surfing is to… be with that mystery. To ride that mystery for as long as you can. And then when it’s over that’s cool because you know what? You were there, in line and on time.
A hooker. Oh Jesus, you killed a hooker!
I got the TiVo!
Now let me get this straight. You want me to let my client of 15 years, one of my best friends, die in the jungle alone, for some money and a G5?
Rick Peck: How’s the adoption thing going?
Tugg Speedman: Not good.
Rick Peck: At least you get to choose yours. I’m stuck with mine.
[about Speedman] They’re going to kill him!
What do YOU need, Les? Glasses?
[to his investors, after he accidentally sunk his boat] Hey, boats sink! No one knows why!
Tess Finnegan: It’s not here.
Ben ‘Finn’ Finnegan: I refuse to believe that.
Tess Finnegan: Well, just because you refuse to believe something doesn’t make it true. Or false. Or… whatever the hell I’m saying.
Ben ‘Finn’ Finnegan: Something wrong, Tess?
Tess Finnegan: Something wrong? Why would anything be wrong? We just had sex in a church – and we’re not even married – and now we’re gonna dig up a grave! I mean, what is that, like a triple sin? I’m surprised we haven’t been struck by lightning.
We Are Marshall
When I heard about what had happened, your situation, the only thing I could think about was the four of them. I thought about how much they mean to me, about how bad it would hurt if… well if I was to lose them. Then I thought about a team, and a school, and a town thats gotta be hurtin’ real bad. And I thought, hell, maybe I could help.
One day, not today, not tomorrow, not this season, probably not next season either but one day, you and I are gonna wake up and suddenly we’re gonna be like every other team in every other sport where winning is everything and nothing else matters. And when that day comes, well thats, thats when we’ll honor them.
For those of you who may not know, this is the final resting place for six members of the 1970 Thundering Herd. The plane crash that took their lives was so severe, so absolute, that their bodies were unable to be identified. So they were buried here. Together. Six players. Six teammates. Six Sons of Marshall. This is our past, gentlemen. This is where we have been. This is how we got here. This is who we are. Today, I want to talk about our opponent this afternoon. They’re bigger, faster, stronger, more experienced and on paper, they’re just better. And they know it too. But I want to tell you something that they don’t know. They don’t know your heart. I do. I’ve seen it. You have shown it to me. You have shown this coaching staff, your teammates. You have shown yourselves just exactly who you are in here.
When you take that field today, you’ve got to lay that heart on the line, men. From the souls of your feet, with every ounce of blood you’ve got in your body, lay it on the line until the final whistle blows. And if you do that, if you do that, we cannot lose. We may be behind on the scoreboard at the end of the game but if you play like that we cannot be defeated. Now we came here today to remember six young men and sixty-nine others who will not be on the field with you today, but they will be watching. You can bet your ass that they’ll be gritting their teeth with every snap of that football. You understand me? How you play today, from this moment on is how you will be remembered. This is your opportunity to rise from these ashes and grab glory. We are…
Nate Ruffin: Coach, that… was my team. They left it in my hands.
Jack Lengyel: No… no, they did not. They just left.
Failure to Launch
Tripp: You’re right. Now, hold on. I don’t know what your daily rate is,
[handing $300 to Paula]
Tripp: but that’s everything I’ve got in my wallet. There’s three hundred dollars.
Paula: Oh, come on, Tripp!
Tripp: It should be good for tonight, especially since we didn’t have sex.
Paula: Please, Tripp, let me just explain to you.
Tripp: Get the fuck outta my car.
‘Cause it’s going to take a stick of dynamite to get me out of my parents’ house.
Well, hey there, Ace. Glad you could make it, man. We thought you went home.
Bullshit. No, no, no, no, no, man. I’m not afraid of love. I love love. Look, I’ve had a lot of girlfriends, right? And sometimes I’m the rebound guy. Other times, when I get lucky, I’m the “explore new areas of your sexuality” guy. But every single time, we have fun. Thank you. I have fun, they have fun. It’s good for me, it’s good for them. And I would argue that it’s damn good for civilization as a whole.
We’ve been out one time. She’s a nice girl, I’m a nice guy, we had fun. And I must tell you, son, nothing is doomed.
I’m giving her space, Mr. Axelrod. Now, I’m going after her.
Well, I’m working on it. Thing is, you gotta be ready. I mean, it’s a big commitment. And if you’re not ready, you just end up, well, a lonely guy with a big boat payment.
Same thing that always happens. Everything is going along nice and smooth, we’re having a good time, and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, she gets serious. I hate to say it, boys, but it is time to take the girl home.
You’re all getting what you wanted. Paula, you don’t have to pretend to like me anymore. And, Mom, Dad, you wanted me out of the house. I’m out.
Dude, did you just drop me from a forty foot cliff? I mean, you want to talk about a friend, man. You went behind my back, and blackmailed your way into getting your girlfriend.
No, I only know how to say, “I don’t speak English” in English.
Yeah, but the coin traveled from somewhere Al. Unless it hitched a ride on the back of a dolphin, I’m gonna guess it’s jumping off point was a little closer to where we’re sitting.
Hell if I know… but we’re making great time!
Did I miss something? I’ve seen your toxic waste dump. I’ve seen sick Tuareg women and children and I saw dead Asselar. Did I leave something out?
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Andie: True or False: All’s fair in love and war.
Andie: Great answer.
Ben: Good question!
Andie: Our love fern! You let it die!
Ben: No, honey, it’s just sleeping.
Andie: Does Princess Sophia want to come out and play?
Ben: Who’s Princess Sophia?
[Andie points at his crotch]
Andie: Little, big, little, big… I don’t know… we will find out!
Ben: You can’t name my member… Princess Sophia.
Andie: Yes, I can!
Ben: If you are gonna name my… member, you have to name it something hyper masculine. Something like Spike, or Butch, or Krull the Warrior King!
Guys, a woman’s purse, alright, it’s her secret source of power. Alright? There are many dark and dangerous things in there, that we, the male species, should know nothing about.
Ben: [to himself, on his balcony, waving goodbye to Andy before she gets in her cab] You’re already falling in love with me.
Andie: I’m gonna make you wish you were dead.
[blows away a kiss to Ben up on his balcony]
Andie: Poor guy.
That’s what I’m talking about. Where’s the sexy, cool, fun, smart, beautiful Andie that I knew? The one that wanted to be a serious journalist? You’re up, you’re down, you’re here, you’re there, you’re like a frickin’ one woman circus.
You see, the key to this game is being able to read people.
Ben: Look, look, look, wait a minute. The one night we even thought about having sex, all right, she up and decides she’s going to nickname my…
Michelle Rubin: Penis?
Ben: Yeah. “Princess Sophia.” You want to talk about shooting a man’s horse? Whop! Come on!
Reign of Fire
There’s nothing magical about it.
Envy the country that has heroes, huh? I say pity the country that needs them.
Look out that window, Eden isn’t burning its burnt.
You see they have great vision during the day, and even better vision at night. But in the failing light, they can’t focus. Magic hour.
We have paid a terrible price, and now we’ve got a chance to make a difference. We will.
There’s nothing magical about it. They’re made of flesh and blood. You take out their heart you bring down the beast.
These things live on death and feed on ash.
He was my father. I loved him even if he had gone crazy.
I hated Dad’s God, and I would have run away if it weren’t for my brother. I just couldn’t leave him there.
God will protect me.
Thirteen Conversations About One Thing
I believe that if there is such thing as luck. I just hope I’m lucky enough to notice it when it comes my way.
Luck is the lazy man’s excuse.
the Wedding Planner
I barely know you. I don’t know your dad’s first name, I don’t know if you ever wore braces, or contacts, or glasses and I have no idea how you came to be a wedding planner, Mary. But I do know the curves of your face. And I know every fleck of gold in your eyes. I know that the night at the park was the best time I’ve ever had. Pl-please say something.
Why did Steve go to the movies with you? Well, first of all, Steve likes the movies. Steve had the night off. Steve said, ‘Hey, a movie sounds good,’ plus he got an invitation.
She’s in Tahiti, on our honeymoon.
Steve: Why you only eating the brown ones?
Mary: Because someone once said they have less artificial colouring because chocolate’s already brown. And it kind of stayed with me.
Steve: You kind of stayed with me.
Fran is great. But… what if what I think is great really is great, but not as great as something greater?
Steve: [taking off Mary's neck brace] Woah, you’ve got a big neck.
Mary: I have a big neck?
Steve: No, don’t get me wrong it’s a fine neck, it’s just that i haven’t had a patient over the age of 6 in the past 5 years.
Mister Hirsch, step away from that bulkhead. The shockwave from one of these explosions could snap your spine.
What the hell are you doing, huh? This is NOT a democracy!
His body is gonna to save our lives.
What do you mean I’m not ready? Sir, I have worked my tail off on the S-33. I’m qualified in every area and then some. What executive officer has higher marks then I do, Captain?
He torpedoed me, Chief. Nine months aboard the S-33 doing the best job I know how. Doing everything once, and then doing it again just to make sure I didn’t miss anything the first time